Society has bred generations to believe that the past determines their future, or that someone else is the reason one made a bad decision or didn't succeed. However, we have so many examples of people who have made it out of horrible circumstances. Dr. Ben Carson was raised in government housing by a single mother, “[My mother] understood how success was achieved in our society. If anyone had a reason to make excuses, it was her, but she refused to be a victim and would not permit us to develop the victim mentality either.” Carson also said of his mother, “She always had faith in us, and she never accepted excuses,” said Carson. “Her life maxim was, ‘Learn to do your best, and God will do the rest.’ Sonja Carson (Ben Carson's mother) was correct, we have been counseled over and over that if we will do our best, God will do the rest. We make choices every day, some of them monumental, some of them as simple as what to wear that day. Why are choices so important? They direct our lives. We can choose to try in school, or to let the day go by and play at night. We can choose to go the extra mile at work, or arrive late, do the minimal, and leave early. When we retire we can choose to sit in front of a TV all day or we can volunteer at schools, genealogy centers, hospitals, or church. If we have a disability and cannot work, we can choose to sit home and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can ask a teacher at the local school what does he or she need help with that you can do at home (Cutting out lamination, writing out flash cards, trust me there are plenty of things teachers need!), tutor the neighborhood children (This can be fun, you can tell the children what to do with your flower garden while you sit on the porch, it doesn't have to be teaching them to read or do math, but those things are good, too.) A dear Sister at Church that I have held as my inspiration when I think I can't do something I never even met. Another Sister told me about her, because she was HER inspiration. She was home-bound, she couldn't even attend church. But, she could make phone calls. So, she was given a list of women in the church that she was to 'visit' each month. She would get up, shower, and get dressed in her Sunday best, then sit down and "Do the Lord's work." She make her phone calls. She looked forward to the time each week when she would check on her sweet Sisters she was to minister to in the way that she could. We make choices each day. Some are life-changing; some are not. But, we must make them and we must look at the results of those choices and how they will affect us. Recently we were able to have a brief tour of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter. Two of the Marines answered a question for a teacher that was with us, she wanted to take some of the information back to her elementary children. They both said that before they were able to a part of the Marine One unit, background checks going all the way back to their elementary years was made. The Marine noted that the result of the background check came back to her, "What did you do that you were suspended in the third grade." She thought about it, and had to tell them she really didn't remember. The infraction was minor, but if it had been something major it would have affected her job in her 20's. Choices we make at any age may come back to us at any time. Forbes magazine states, "Personal accountability is the belief that you are fully responsible for your own actions and consequences. It’s a choice, a mindset and an expression of integrity. Some individuals exhibit it more than others, but it can and should be learned as it is not only the foundation for a successful life, but also a prerequisite for happiness." One of the saddest songs I think I have ever heard was "She Thinks His Name Was John". Lamenting the one night stand, where she allowed too much wine and a lack of thinking things through led her to make the saddest decision of her life, though the song never says it, is is assumed that she acquired AIDS during the encounter. The regret in the song haunts one as Reba McIntire relates the emotions: Now each day is one day that's left in her life She won't know love, have a marriage or sing lullabies She lays all alone and cries herself to sleep Because she let a stranger kill her hopes and her dreams We must look to the future as we make choices. We also must accept the outcomes of the choices. Many today have been taught to believe that it is always someone else's fault for the station in one's life. This is not so. Yes, there are outside forces that affect us; however, it is up to us to how we react to those forces. Set a goal to allow past choices to no longer affect your present day life. Figure out what it is that is truly keeping you back, then, choose to overcome it. Sometimes it may be simple; but some might be very difficult and take many years to correct. But, through prayer and a strong conviction to want to change, it can happen.
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Carolyn Bendall"After years of teaching people how to develop their 'outside' image; we realized the 'inner image' need just as much work. Let's take this journey together!" Archives
August 2022
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