We have been commanded to love one another, even as our Savior loves us. Christ has a perfect love, He loves all. No matter their situation. Even when they are damaged by life resulting in evil doings, bullying, self-harm, addictions, and many other horrible situations that befall the mortal life. It's easy (somewhat) to 'love' those who are affecting others, as in a dictator in a far away land, a serial killer that lived in another time, even those we see on the street as we drive by that obviously have addiction problems. It's simply a prayer away to 'love' that person. It becomes more difficult when it hits close to home. For most of us, it is bullies that will be the problem we face. Perhaps the person is a family member, and the bullying comes as a result of addictions, or passed on family tendencies. Perhaps the bullying comes from others at school, where most of us encounter the first bully. Perhaps it is in our career path we encounter bullies, or in a classroom in the form of the professor. It may be the person at the check out line. We just don't know where a bully will show up. In most cases a bully will do their theater and then we are done with them. In rare cases a bully can destroy a person emotionally. In even more rare cases a bully has a world stage and can destroy a person in front of the world. In the case of world stage bullying, I saw it in the 70's with dj's that would make fun of music performed by certain artists...the 'bubblegum music'. I saw it last over many years with the artist, and in some cases the artist couldn't deal with the bullying by turning to addictions. I felt so sorry for them, and often wondered if the critics and dj's even cared, or noticed. I now see it with politicians that are 'squeaky clean', no one believes anyone can be 'squeaky clean' so they begin an onslaught to destroy this person trying to find something somewhere to destroy this person. I often wonder if money is involved in the people that they find to uncover a minute moment in this person's life. I also wonder if they feel they have done a great thing destroying someone. Which brings us to looking for the problem behind the bullying. I was told once that those who bully do so because they are trying to build up their own self worth. When they see someone living a life they wish they had, they want to destroy that. Or, when they feel threatened by someone ( a job, a status in the class, etc.) they attack the person that threatens them because their self worth is based on where they are socially. Or, perhaps the worse, they fully know what they are doing but the person is threatening their livelihood or power, as in a politician when all they have to throw at each other is mud instead of policies. There is always a reason for the bullying. Responding to bullies is difficult. In some cases the bullying will stop if ignored. But, as an adult, the bullying becomes more intense if the person feels they are threatened. And, to come out of that bullying is probably impossible. So, what is the answer? It isn't by bullying children into not bullying. It isn't by bullying people via memes on social media to not bully. Bullying is a deep seated emotional problem and as our society becomes more morally corrupt, the deep seated emotional problems will intensify; therefore bullying will intensify and will be encouraged. We have seen politicians encourage adult bullying against their political foes, we have seen people heeding this by becoming disruptive in restaurants or other places of business. I heard this morning that political foes' home addresses are being sent out to bullying groups so that one can get them where they sleep. We can focus on 'fixing' bullying in children, but it isn't going anywhere as long as children see the adults acting worse than any childhood bully did on the school playground. Even 'Mean Girls', the teenage girls who think they are the cool ones and no one can take their place, have nothing on the adults that are behaving worse than junior high could ever have been. However, as they see these adults bullying...and learn by example...what is the school playground going to be like soon? Has anyone thought of that as they scream en masse at someone that has a differing opinion as them? Expletives abound, and puffed up chests with big grins and high fives result as they feel they have won as a gang against the one person that walked away. So, until we, as adults, can defeat bullying within ourselves, it isn't going away among children...it will grow, and get worse as children see their examples that are teaching them better than the poster hanging on the wall in the classroom "No Bullying Zone". It's time to set a goal. When you see a bullying experience developing you do one or two things: 1. Try to explain that there must be a better way. Let's research peaceful protesting. 2. Walk away when your suggestion of peaceful protest is nixed, and encourage others to walk away as well.
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Carolyn Bendall"After years of teaching people how to develop their 'outside' image; we realized the 'inner image' need just as much work. Let's take this journey together!" Archives
August 2022
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