I've worked with youth in volunteer leadership positions and I have been taken aback when some of them, as teenagers, spoke to their parents extremely disrespectfully...as in worse that I have ever heard a child speak to their parent. And. The. Parent. Did. Nothing. In one case the parent even apologized. Ummm, the parent had nothing to apologize for, the child was in the wrong. I babysat for three children while their mother taught piano. These children were preschoolers, and one in Kindergarten. They were angels for me, then when their mother took over they became the worst children I have ever seen (up to that time!). They turned a table upside down, they yelled at their mom when she told them not to do that to the table. And, it got worse from there. I will say, to an extent this is the parent allowing themselves to be treated in this manner...so, that needs to change, too. But, as the children get older the lack of respect will be more defined. So, they will need to make changes within themselves as they get older. I've been on the sidelines as an adult spoke to her mother on the phone and proceeded to be short and rude to her mother who was in crisis at that moment. And, no, it wasn't a years or months long crisis, it was a minutes long crisis. Yes, she called her at work, but sometimes you have to take the call. Later I found out that that was actually how she spoke to her mom most of the time; not just at a crisis moment. Spouses, children to parent, parent to child, child to child. Respect, and being nice begins at home. This last month you focused on being nice to people you meet during your day. Now, the focus is going to be on those within your family. Take notice what you say to family; take the time to make sure you treat family with respect. Focus on doing something out of the ordinary for a family member each day...not each family member, just one. So, you are going to do one nice thing a day. Write it down, why you chose that person and the thing you chose to do. Then, at the end of the day come back and write down the person's reaction to your being nice. Do this each day, yes, each day. Sometimes it won't be something you planned, sometimes it will just happen; but write it down, and it is very important that you do the reflecting part, too. There should two reflections, one on how you felt and the other is how the person you were nice to felt. This will make a difference. It will. And, it will be a positive difference. Granted, there are some that it will be very difficult to be nice to, instances of abuse. That is beyond my knowledge, but I do know that the nice thing you do may be a simple prayer for yourself to be emotionally strong. I cannot, nor do I even try to know what the complete answer is in abusive situations. I can say, prayer and seek assistance.
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Carolyn Bendall"After years of teaching people how to develop their 'outside' image; we realized the 'inner image' need just as much work. Let's take this journey together!" Archives
August 2022
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